Why We Should Celebrate Friday the 13th (And How!)
Some tips for getting the most of Friday the 13th!
Friday the 13th can and should be celebrated as a holiday. It’s a moveable feast that aptly marks the rise of horror movie aesthetics in the mainstream, not to mention a more general acceptance of misfortunes small and large in our daily lives.
As far back as the 19th century, Friday the 13th betokened an unlucky day in Western folk superstitions. The date then served as a convenient title for a series of slasher films starring serial killer-cum-zombie Jason Voorhees. Now, it’s high time for people to commemorate these interwoven traditions more formally.
How can this be done? You can do what your present author does and invite over a few slasher-savvy (or at least horror-curious) friends to watch one or more of Paramount’s Friday the 13th films. (Unfortunately, the later “Jason movies” released by New Line will generally not suffice, though the 2009 remake is permissible.) Watching 80s teens get eviscerated with edged weapons will provide as much comic relief as it does frisson, injecting some joy into this putatively inauspicious day.
Alternatively or additionally, you can read passages from the novelizations of the Friday the 13th movies, either aloud to friends or all by yourself. You can also fire up Friday the 13th: The Game for PS4 or Xbox and connect with strangers online to take turns maneuvering Jason and his teenage prey through the virtual purlieus of Camp Crystal Lake. To stalk and be stalked, to slaughter and be slaughtered, is to bask in the seasonal joy. (That said, the game has recently been having serious server issues, so this is a tradition that may soon die.)
Dressing up as Jason can add an exciting new dimension to any or all of the above activities (among others!) for people of any gender. But if you’re more traditional in your ways, ladies, you can always throw on a gray sweater and matching wig to go as Jason’s mom.
Even if you’re not a devotee of the Friday the 13th franchise, you can still get into the spirit of the season. Wear a hockey mask to work or into the bedroom. If it turns off your coworkers or conjugal partner(s), you can try donning a gunny sack with one ragged eyehole as per Part 2 instead.
There are so many upsides to observing Friday the 13th. It’s always a Saturday the next day, so you can stay up late and tie on as many as you want with impunity. It’s not religiously bound, so you don’t have to feel guilty about over-indulging. On top of that, Friday the 13th can happen more than once a year, giving you as many as three opportunities in the course of 365 days to binge Friday the 13th movies along with whatever else you like.
Special attention should be paid to the Friday the 13ths that take place during the “JASON” months (July, August, September, October, and November). These Friday the 13ths demand full viewings of all series entries and even the aforementioned Jason movies (i.e. Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X, and Freddy vs. Jason). The ne plus ultra of these Friday the 13th celebrations, however, happens when the day falls in October. The close proximity of Friday the 13th and Halloween renders these Octobers the most horror-infused months imaginable. Like a Blue Moon or a Blackberry Winter, we might think of such a date as a “Crystal” Friday the 13th . . . and there’s one coming up in this the year AD 2023!
Now, some closet paraskevidekatriaphobes might still be unconvinced hearing all this, protesting that we already have Halloween and that that alone suffices for celebrating the sinister. Sure, Halloween’s great, but it’s undeniably bound up in its own religious baggage, what with all its pagan overtones. By contrast, Friday the 13th marks a purely secular horror. Moreover, while Halloween is restricted to the autumn, Friday the 13th can happen in any month and any season, affording us the opportunity to memorialize our malefic side against summer, spring, fall, and winter backdrops.
Besides, there are other domains that have multiple holidays. We have, for instance, both Memorial Day and Veteran’s day to commemorate participants in old wars. Why shouldn’t we have more than one day to commemorate the macabre . . . especially as the world grows more horrific by the day?
Given the new wars, political upheavals, pandemics, and climate catastrophes that plague our present-day planet, the celebration of a second date of sinister significance seems most fitting. In a world where the only tenable deity might be a malevolent one, Friday the 13th is the kind of holy day that rings truer and truer with each and every abominable year (or month or week). As such, it’s perfectly reasonable to acknowledge the abject darkness of existence and attempt to etch out some bright spots within it whenever we can, thereby temporarily breaking the monotonous, masochistic cycle in which we live and consume and are consumed. Quite frankly, Halloween just isn’t enough anymore.
